Bittersweet endings.

Back to school. One week down.
So incredibly bittersweet.
The boys started 6th and 2nd grade last week and I am excited for them and nervous for them.
I have run errands that I hadn't tried to run all summer, because they are the mundane chores that the kids wouldn't be interested in.
I have organized the spare bedroom and we have made the garage look respectable.
We bought a new vehicle, a 2017 Tahoe in tungsten metallic, and it is beautiful!
I have cleaned more in one week than I may have all summer.
The pillows stay on the couch in the living room all day long.
I have already finished one book, and started another.
I have done laundry without stopping in the middle to get someone a drink or snack.
I have taken a long, hot shower without anyone walking into the bathroom to ask me where their socks are…

But I have also missed little hands dragging me out to the yard to play baseball midday.
I have overthought decisions I have made and they have made.
And I have woken up sleepy little boys to send them off into the world, each taking a piece of my heart with them.
I have watched them hurry out the front door to walk themselves to school, because “we’re old enough now, Mom!”
The books can wait, the laundry and cleaning can wait, but these moments, these long summer days, are fleeting, and I hope we lived them to the fullest!
And, oh, how I have missed those boys this last week!

These little boys know I love them.
How could they not?
I tell them a multitude of times daily.
I love them fiercely, and wholly, and indescribably, and irrevocably!
Today, when I arrived home from work, I got a running, jumping, squeezing, burst my heart wide open hug from Cole, and my day was made!

What they don't know is that I still kiss them every night, hours after they have fallen asleep.
They don't know that I sometimes climb in bed with them, just to remind myself that they will always be my babies.
They don't know that sometimes I am so overwhelmed with how much I adore them, these two most incredible small people, that it brings me to tears.
But someday, they will.
Because, someday, they will love another tiny human as much as I love them.
Until then, I'll just keep loving them up.